What's the difference between tantric sex and regular sex?
Updated: Jun 6, 2019
This month I will discuss about the difference between tantric sex and regular sex. In this article the word ‘sex’ does not mean something dirty, I have chosen to use this word as a common word for the sexual action in general in order to simplify my wording.
You have probably heard the words ‘tantric sex’ before, although I would like to highlight that there is a number of sources around, also in the internet, where the information and the practice given to people may not come from a pure source or intention.
Most authentic sources agree that the word tantra (which has various origins rooted in several Indian traditional languages) generally means expansion, expansion tool, or liberation.
While regular sex usually goes through three stages: foreplay, intercourse, and climax/ending, tantric sex has no lineal progression and it is not orgasm oriented. In fact, tantric sex practitioners neither focus on orgasm as the main source of pleasure nor as the main goal of the act itself.
In tantric sex, the main purpose of the couple during the sexual action is to connect in a deeper level than just the physical one, experience soul connection between the two and channel their sexual energy for deeper pleasure and spiritual awakening.
This can happen by consciously expanding this energy from the genitals to the rest of the body so that any spot on the body can be a source of pleasure and move the energy upwards along the spine while transforming it into a refined spiritual energy of higher pleasure.
In tantric sex the couple synchronize their breathing and mindfully focus on each touch, breath and action in order to build presence and fuse with their partners’ energy for a deeper connection. Also eye contact is also a very important aspect for the tantric perspective. All the above make the sexual action a slower sensual experience while increasing awareness and amplifying the sensations in the body while allowing the inner senses to be stimulated. We could simply say that in tantric sex the body is the tool or the gate that can bring a higher experience beyond the physical.
A tantric sex session may last several hours because in contrast to regular sex a climax or orgasm itself is not necessarily connected with depletion of the physical energies, or even ejaculation. Instead, the couple immerse in a state of sensual creativity that can go on and on cyclically in any direction except a lineal finish line. They may have intercourse or barely touch each other, feeling the same intensity of pleasure, even by looking each other in the eyes. This process may create waves of orgasm throughout the tantric sexual action instead of reaching a climax point which in regular sex might indicate the conclusion of the sexual act, especially for men.
Tantric sex signifies the deepest and most pure connection for humans through energy. We can say that tantric sex is to regular sex what yoga is to the average gym workout. Apart from the physicality of the sexual action, tantric sex involves the mind, the spirit, the soul, energy and the body as one.
Tantric sex approaches intimacy from three main principles:
Intending the body to be a vehicle of a deeper soul connection & lovemaking,Experiencing unconditional love from a higher perspective in the physical realm, Using sex as a sacred union of the couple in order to bring spiritual awakening and transformation.
Firstly, in order to do the above we need to experience lovemaking as an act of freedom instead of an act of possessiveness. To be able to use our bodies as tools in order to experience pleasure and feel true love without the need to possess one another.
Secondly we need to learn to be loving and sensual with our own selves and bodies first in order to be able to communicate with our partner and channel our energy properly during the sexual action.
Thirdly we need to be honest with ourselves and our partner regarding our limits, wants and don’t wants, while being deeply aware of our self and our own energy first.
Thank you for reading, and remember that everything you seek lies within your Self!
Heart to Heart,
1 April 2019
Photography by Osiris Nicolaou
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