Transformation & rebirth always come with a glimpse of death
Updated: Jun 17, 2019
During a journey of transformation there is a moment of death, the death of the false self. It is the moment where we peel of another layer or layers of illusion and we come closer to our true essence, to who we truly are.
Another opportunity for transformation and rebirth took place for me during an intensive training course and a healing process that continued just after that. I write this article through the lens of my own, personal experience, not to share the incident itself, but the lessons I had the blessing to learn through this process.
I invite you to read this article (and every article in this blog) with your heart and not with your mind, and be open to sense the possibility that maybe you, at least once, were or might be in the same position.
Here we go…
The past month I was in India for 5 weeks for an advanced teacher training course in yin & yang yoga focusing on the 5 elements of Ayurveda and TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine). I committed myself in an 11-hour daily practical and theoretical training, hours of studying and teaching, self-practice and interaction with people from around the globe, who were participating in the same course with me.
The course itself offered me the opportunity to experience a deep immersion in myself through various tools. As a person who is extremely sensitive to energies and as a person who has dedicated myself in my self-healing, transformation and higher purpose, the amount of energy work I have done on myself in the last years was a great preparation to what was about to follow during this period of my life: the healing and reset of my emotional field and the expansion of my capacity to love…
Does this sound nice or easy? Well it was not.
This process was quite painful and overwhelming in many levels. Many times I have felt helpless, lost in instinctual reactions and emotional turbulences that were storing in my organs and energy field during the years and now moved to the surface in order to be healed and released. I had to surrender, to let go and accept the whole process, however difficult or uncomfortable it may felt.
The whole process of observing and releasing was truly painful yet I had to let go and accept it as it is. Accept the toxicity of the emotions, the level of difficulty and understand that this is not who I am. I am not my emotions, I am not the pain I feel, I am not my frustration, I am not my sadness, I am not my memories and I am not what happened to me in the past. I am the expansion that takes place, I am the force that shakes off all the illusion in order to move closer to myself and my higher purpose, one step forward and one step further.
And this is a positive thing, a blessing and most of all an answered prayer for me. This is something I wanted and said out loud, that "I want to open myself and expand my ability to love”. Of course I would never know how this would be possible, in which way and form may take place, but as soon as I understood what was happening it was when the release process was in its completion and transformation was already taking place.
Then the deepest gratitude filled up my whole being. A deeper state of calmness fulfilled my heart and inner reality, and a conscious decision was made: that from now on I will only be serving whatever comes from a space of love, I will be nurturing everything that needs love to flourish and I will be embracing all that is made out of love, firstly and most importantly myself.
Through this painful yet fruitful journey of transformation a new energy is now shaped in order to bring deeper understanding and the ability to experience and feel love in a higher level. What could I ask for more?
The death of the false ego that we are building for years in order to protect ourselves during traumatic experiences comes with sadness and grief, yet it is a new life and an opening to our true, most authentic Self, a celebration for our being and a blessing for the whole universe and the people who share our energy. A death that is always followed my a rebirth.
I am here to tell you that firstly, spiritually awakened and evolved people definitely go through these kinds of processes. I am neither saying this in order to tell you that I am spiritually awakened or evolved, nor to label myself. I am sharing this in order to tell you that there are different levels of spiritual awakening and evolution, I would prefer to say being spiritually awakening and continuously evolving are better words to use. As it is a never ending, continuous process where people, who especially work with themselves, go through several times in their life because we need to remove one layer first before we move to the next one. And secondly, it does not make you weak, less or even a bad person. If through such processes you haven’t been able to be perfect, act properly or respond in the best possible way it is absolutely fine and it is better than pretending a fake self-identity.
Through such processes the only thing you really need is to provide the most loving and caring environment for yourself in order to be able to go through this process smoothly. Instead of holding or repressing emotions, blaming yourself or feeling guilty about it, it is better to allow things to unfold as they are with grater understanding and compassion for your own self.
When we go through a process of transformation (of any kind - spiritual, emotional and mental) sadness and pain many times occur due to resistant to change or due to our controlling nature to repress emotions, act in a specific way or hide things because we fear the possibility of being judged or rejected. We really need to accept what is happening first, we need to accept the pain we feel instead of resisting it.
Through pain we can learn who we are and who we are not. The key is to stay detached from this pain and everything that accompanies it as it does not represent us, it is not who we are.
During a process of transformation there is no such thing as becoming…we already are everything we ever wanted and dreamed of, we are light in our essence and love is our core. All sadness, pain and everything that comes from a space of illusion is temporary here to show us what we are not. This is the death we need to allow to happen: the removal of the illusionary self we thought we are or they taught us to be.
We go through different stages in order to evolve, to expand our consciousness and to raise our vibrations, therefore we may experience “death” many times during our life in order to continue our awakening journey till we reach our ultimate goal, which is to be in perfect alignment with our Essence Self.
Thank you for reading, and remember that everything you seek lies within your Self.
Heart to Heart,
1 June 2019
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